you are here: Internet Dating Is Not Like Ordering A Pizza: Author Interview
If you've tried internet dating and given up, a new book by Cherie Burbach titled "Internet Dating is Not Like Ordering a Pizza" just might be the incentive to give internet dating another try. Cherie found the man of her dreams after 60 online dates. In her new book, she shares her experiences and gives concrete specifics on how to succeed in the fishbowl of online dating. To get a more in-depth look at online dating we interviewed Cherie to find out more about her experiences.
LYC: Thank you for this interview, Cherie. I guess the biggest question right now would be did your husband match up to what you expected?
CHERIE: Haha! That's quite a loaded question... I'm kidding, of course. One thing I found when I was Internet dating was that it focused on the outward qualities of people (eye color, college degree, income, etc.) and not the innate qualities that would make two people compatible.
That's when I realized that in order to find someone who would really be your soul mate, you had to show your personality in your profile. As a writer, this was fairly easy for me to do.
I think that's one reason I met my husband, who is absolutely perfect for me. We are just about to celebrate our fifth year of marriage and we are very happy and content. We are best friends and so very thankful we met someone who was right for us.
LYC: How did you find him?
CHERIE: I signed up on an online dating site and met him in about six months. Truth be told, I met a lot of wonderful people. But my husband was the one who was right for me. My experience confirmed that there are a lot of great guys out there just looking to meet the right girl.
LYC: Before you met in person, what qualities did he put on his profile that ended up being right on the money?
CHERIE: He mentioned several of the same things that I like to do, and I could already tell from his profile that we shared the same sense of humor. That's really important to me and when I saw that I was interested in meeting him.
LYC: Can you tell us about that first moment when you two met in person?
CHERIE: Everyone asks if we knew instantly that we had met our future spouse. Both of us always say no! It took some time for us to get to know one another, and I think that is an important thing for daters to realize. Just because you don't see fireworks from the beginning, it doesn't mean someone isn't right for you.
However, having said that, our first date was pretty special. I had a specific rule that I would only meet someone for an hour. I had held to that rule for every other person I'd met, but when I met my husband we had such a great time talking that I stayed for three hours! Looking back, I felt very comfortable with him.
LYC: How is your book, Internet Dating is Not Like Ordering a Pizza, any different from the other Internet dating books on the market, and how can your book help someone who has given up finding that someone special?
CHERIE: One thing that frustrates me about advice books is that there aren't ever enough concrete examples. If you talk in generalities too much, it doesn't help someone get "unstuck" from the place they are. If someone wants advice on Internet dating, they sometimes need a definitive example to really understand how to go about the process differently.
That being said, I knew it was important for me to not just say "show your personality in your profile" but to show them how. I give lots of concrete examples in the book on how exactly to make your unique outlook come through, what to say to end a date, and even what to write when first emailing someone. All of those things will help someone new to Internet dating get off on the right foot. For those people who have tried Internet dating and given up, it will give them the confidence to try again, this time armed with the right knowledge to succeed.
LYC: Can you give us some pointers on what kind of person to stay away from? Are there sharks in the waters?
CHERIE: There are sharks everywhere, even with people we meet in real life. The point I always try to get across with singles is that any time you meet someone new, they are a stranger and it will take some time to get to know them! That's true about your online dating match or someone your best friend is setting you up with.
Internet dating is no more dangerous than any other kind of dating, it is simply set up differently where you email someone before you actually meet them. This sets up a false sense of familiarity. In short, if you haven't meet someone yet, you don't know them! It doesn't matter how many times you've emailed or talked on the phone.
That being said, common sense rules the day when it comes to Internet dating. If someone wants to move too fast or for whatever reason makes you feel creepy - pay attention! If they ask you for money, your personal account information, or anything else that's inappropriate and wrong, leave them immediately and block them from ever contacting you again. Most websites have safety measures such as the "block" feature and the "double blind" email system to help protect daters. And always opt for a coffee date when you are meeting someone for the first time.
LYC: What particular trait did your future husband have that told you "this is the one" before you saw him in person?
CHERIE:That's just it. You can't know someone is right for you until you meet them, and then only when you take the time to get to know them. When I spent some time getting to know my husband, I knew he was right for me. But to try and do that with just a picture and a profile essay? It doesn't work that way.
LYC: Any final advice for finding love online?
CHERIE:Take the time to really put up a great profile.
Your profile is your online billboard, essentially, and it will attract the right people to you only if you put the effort in to make your personality come through.
Also, don't get discouraged. Internet dating is a wonderful introduction method when it comes to meeting someone new, but it isn't a quick process. New people join services all the time, so devote at least six months to a site before calling it quits.
LYC: Thank you for this interview, Cherie. Can you tell us where we can find more information about your book and your adventures?
CHERIE: Thank you! For more information, you check out my website, www.cherieburbach.com.
